WordPress kindly gave me a reminder the other day, that it had been over a month since I last checked my own blog, it’s actually almost been 2 months since I last posted. I would love to say how busy I have been over Christmas and the New Year period, which made it impossible for me to blog but no, that’s a lie ((well I did have exams so I am counting that as busyness)). I haven’t had much motivation to blog, it was becoming a chore and I noticed that I was becoming quite anxious when writing or trying to think about what people would want to read and would find interesting. I also started seeing and speaking to a lot more people who have read my posts and again that increased my anxiety and the pressure ((it feels a bit weird when a lot of friends know some of the crazy things that go on in my head)). Yesterday however, someone messaged me asking for an update and when I was going to do another blog post ((shout-out to Megan!!)). So, she gave me a little bit of motivation and inspo to share what’s been going on in the brain of Olivia.
It’s been a tad all over the place with ups and downs but as my mum put it, I am just sort of plodding along, as everyone does from time to time. Taking each moment as it comes and to try not over-think, analyse anything but I mean that is in the ideal world let’s be honest.
The holidays were fab! I got to spend time with my family and really enjoyed myself. In comparison to last year when I was very unwell, this year seemed like a dream. I mean as dreamy as it could have been considering there is a lot of emphasis on food but I did my best at tackling it ((don’t get me wrong it was extremely difficult, but I am still standing and nothing completely disastrous happened)) . I focused on sharing the weeks with my amazing family creating some really wonderful memories #goals.
January on the other hand, not as good. The first week of Jan though is a new year, new me attitude, where everyone is kinda loving the fresh start and everyone properly embraces the new year spirit. Instead, I took some fairly large steps backwards, I turned to alcohol again and started becoming a tad self-destructive, which was a bit of a reality check and meant I’ve had to re-think and change a few things ((but that is a COMPLETELY different blog post or potential video???)). Second week of Jan falls, and the Christmas joys are starting to diminish, the novelty of writing 2018 on everything fades and tiredness starts to slowly take its toll ((plus I had some really hefty exams, which for me were a massive struggle, but hey! I did them)). Then Blue Monday, well, it really was a very blue Monday, as in it literally rained ALL day and so naturally everyone’s moods ((well my mood definitely did)) just follows ((although 50% off at slug and lettuce did make it a little better, recommend for sure, Steph will back me up on that one #vegannacho’s)). God only knows what next week will bring ((bring on February!!!)). Easy to say January did not fail to live up to its expectations, I do feel reassured that I am not alone during this weird/wonderful month and I can assure you are not alone in it either.
At the moment ((literally right at this minute, things may change lol)) I feel quite motivated to share more posts over the next couple of weeks, because I have had to face a few things that I would like to acknowledge/share ((for want of a better word)) speak about etc. I am all about breaking down that stigma and I refuse to feel lonely in this madness, because I know that is the worst feeling.
You will defo be hearing from me soon! xxx