Hellooooooo again, Im gonna first start off by admitting that regular blogging is actually really hard and I am so impressed at everyone who does it on top of everything that they do! Nevertheless, here I am still going..just about..
Anyways, I have been super busy over the past week or two ((well busier than usual)) doing all sorts of jobs all over the place and dare I say it, socialising a lot more (YAY!). However, since I have had to take it a lot slower over the past several months the up in activity is something I am not quite used to, so naturally my body is being a bit like “hold up, I need some rest”. So making time to take care of myself and recognise a bit of down time is very much needed.
Self-care is an art, and like most arty things I am not very good at it and it is definitely something that I have been working on since being home. Honestly, I hate it but I am slowly learning to like it and hopefully at some point love it(!!!) This may sound really odd to some people who would wonder why you wouldn’t want to take care of yourself after a busy day or two but it is something that has never come very naturally to me and literally I don’t even think about doing it..
((It is about to get a little bit deep and personal so brace yourself for a second))
As humans we are creatures of habit, we create routines and rituals which we end up following quite naturally. When I am feeling particularly low, I often get thoughts where I feel unworthy, which leads to a lot of self-neglect and even self-punishment. I stop/refuse to think about my own needs and focus my attention on something or someone else. This kind of behaviour is just the way I deal with situations. This way of thinking ended up becoming something that’s extremely unsustainable and something that is very hard to manage. ((hence me coming home to my amazing family)) and why self-care has been such a key element into getting me back to life.
So, when I am living with certain things that I am so used to doing or not doing and which feel so normal, getting out of those normalities is really hard. Like learning anything it takes practice and patience and a hell of a lot of determination. Learning to love yourself and accept yourself as YOU has been one of the biggest challenges I have had to face. At least with learning a language or a sport you can usually buy a book or get taught how to do it and there are rules. Self care on the other hand, has no book, no guidelilnes and it is SO different for everyone.
I actually used to laugh at people and think people were really lame if they went out and bought bath bombs, or bought themselves nice things, the idea of “treating yo self” was just not a thing for me. BUT SERIOUSLY WHY ON EARTH NOT?! I can’t tell you how wrong I was!! Bath bombs are honestly fantastic, clean bedsheets and towels are dreamy, and early nights are the best ideas ever!!!! ((don’t worry I did used to clean and wash myself but I have taken it to a whole different level now)).
This has been a huge part of my recovery, so I thought over a few more blog posts since I have rambled on a bit in this one ((which was not the plan by the way)) I would just share some of the new ways I care for myself ((admittedly they are quite girly but hey ho, embrace your inner girliness)).
I am still finding the whole process and the actual act of caring for myself quite hard and trust me there are so many days where the last thing I want to do is get up let alone think about all of this self-care business but usually those are the days where it is most important.
Please don’t be like that person I used to be and laugh at me for getting excited over some bubble bath, instead try it, you might like it?!!?! :O
lots of love, xxx