being OK with saying no…

In my last post the focus was on ((if you haven’t read it yet then shame on you..jokes)) scheduling days out and making time to generally have the best time and as much fun possible!!! So a slight shift in this post which is gonna focus on pretty much the opposite. Basically reminding myself to take time doing, well, nothing AND to be ok with doing nothing.

FOMO or “Fear Of Missing Out” has to be the best word. According to Oxford dictionaries, it is, Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.

Up until super recently I have been a lifelong sufferer of FOMO. For those who know me, you will know that I would never miss a night out, I would say yes every single time without question, whether it was just 2 of us on a Tuesdays at fes club… ((not my fav night out I have to admit)) or a massive group of us at Revs ((also not that great)), you could count on me being there. I would ensure that whatever event, party or gathering ((including those infamous piss ups on our local green, which would always end with the police and 1,000 missed calls from my parents who thought I was at a girly sleepover…don’t bother lying they ALWAYS know what you are up to)) you would find me there. I, to put it really simply, literally didn’t want to miss out on any funny jokes or seeing who got with who ((expecting it to be funnier or different from last time.. it never was)). I would make sure that my Friday and Saturday nights would consist of what everyone else was doing and making sure there was some form of documentation either through a regrettably long snapchat story or some terrible collection of photos published across Instagram and facebook. That fear of not being at that amazing event day or night that all your friends can’t stop talking about, for me, was the worst feeling ever. There were countless times where I knew I should NOT have gone…trust me I would pay the consequences. Most of those times I didn’t have any fun anyway, in fact, I would probably say that 80% of the times I went out I wasn’t enjoying it shouldn’t have been there or there for completely the wrong reasons.

I literally look back with my head in my hands, grimacing back at those proper fuzzy memories thinking WHY ON EARTH WAS I DOING THAT?!??! I know the answer. I had massive FOMO.

Really really recently, I have finally seen the light… or well I have made peace with saying no and opting for a more chilled, casual time for myself, by myself. Actually, my normal Friday or Saturday night.. pretty much every night ((especially since Love Island has been on)) usually involves a cup of peppermint tea and an early night, there is nothing better than taking a moment to breathe in my pj’s watching some Netflix. Admittedly, that is all I can really handle at the minute but I don’t have that worry/angst anymore. I cannot tell you how much taking a step back and listening to myself has benefitted me (physically as well as mentally). I do what I want, when I want, with who I want and I blooming enjoy whatever it is every single time!

I like my dancing too much to ever rule out a party ever again but I have finally realised that drinking myself into the ground and attending EVERYTHING isn’t what is right for me.  I have finally learnt that not going to something isn’t the end of the world and there will always another opportunity. AND I feel sosoososo much better for it.  I am so happy I can finally say no to things and be ok with the fact that I am not doing something that all my other friends are doing. This might sound completely strange to some, but honestly it has been a revelation and I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm down but that is the beauty of hindsight I guess.


Give ya self some TLC and enjoy a little moment to yourself with no FOMO – don’t let the FOMO get you down and stop you from being happy.

Lots of love xxx




Author: Youwishbailey's Blog

I am 20 and living the Cambridge life, hoping to share a few bits 'n bobs about my journey of mental illness. Generally sharing some of the ways I am coping ((or not coping)) in this 21st Century world - which, can I add is full of the 3 D's, Dramas, Dilemmas, and Dicks.

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