I just wanted to start by saying that I am so grateful to the support I have received from posting my intro blog post yesterday! I have been so apprehensive about sharing this time with everyone so to have all the lovely messages has been amazing — THANK YOU! xxx but don’t go anywhere and keep reading…..
Coming home from uni was a massive decision to make but 100% the right one. While I was relieved I was home and back in a safe environment amongst the best family in the world, I suddenly felt extremely daunted and as there was an enormous expectation to suddenly get better, when truthfully I wasn’t quite ready.
That may sound quite strange, why would someone not want to get better and feel happy?? surely that is the sane thing to do?? It is not always quite as simple as that and for some time I just needed and wanted a bit of care. Luckily enough, my family, the legends that they are understood this and were in no rush to throw me back out into the world. My mum in particular, the queen that she is introduced me to the power of a list. Yes, I am talking about a 1. 2. 3. 4.. kind of list. She had made a jar and filled it with all sorts of questions for me. They varied from writing down all the movies I have watched this year, to making a list of the things that I think are hygee (OMG if you haven’t heard what hygee is, give it a google right now and thank me later #scandylifestyle). I would choose a question every day and I would make a list, usually with a very large cup of coffee in hand haha. Eventually I stopped picking from my jar and would just write lists about anything whenever I wanted but usually still with a very large cup of coffee.. can’t be doing without my Costa Coffee.
The beauty of lists is that they can literally range from anything. I usually start off with planning my day, but soon that list turns in to a sub list about something in that list. I pretty much end up making lists about making a list — I even made a list about writing about lists..i really like lists.
For me, it started giving me perspective and slowly helped me get back into the swing of things. My thoughts can quickly overwhelm me, even if it’s just planning a day out or choosing what to eat. When this happens I quickly become very anxious and that prevents me from actually going through with the what I wanted to do at all. By making a list or writing a few thoughts down it clearly shows you what you’ve got to do and that you can handle it – you can add bits where you want or scribble bits out, plus that feeling of crossing off something because you have actually completed it is amazing!! ((it’s like being back at school and putting a massive X through that page in your homework diary on that one crazy week where all your teachers gave you homework – whether you did that homework or not you have to admit that feeling was bliss. Just because we aren’t at school anymore doesn’t mean we don’t have things to do that we can’t put a massive X through)). I must not forget to mention that you become crazily organised and life in itself becomes just that little bit easier.. or well it did for me ((it also meant I got to go out and buy a super nice moleskin notebook and some new pens and pencils, which is always fun. However, a couple thousand lists later that has become quite an expensive way to go about things so have resorted to my £2 notebook from Tiger, which in fact looks identical,))
So on a day like today, when I didn’t wake up in the best frame of mind and actually felt quite daunted about the day ahead, Fridays for me can feel quite hectic and busy. This typically causing a lot of anxiety, which sets me up for a downwards spiral in thoughts. Nevertheless, I had to crack on otherwise I am pretty sure Alfie ((my dog.. the cutest Cocker Spaniel in the world — he will get his own blog post at some point don’t worry)) would have peed on my bed. With my large cup of coffee in hand, I wrote a trusty list and soon felt just that bit better…but that may just have been the caffeine kicking in.